Thirty-Years Thoughts

Thirty years since Chris slipped away.

After many years of crises the morning began as usual.  All of you off to school and David to work at the Institute, Jill at home with me.  Chris didn't feel like eating much breakfast.  I helped her to her room to dress and do her morning routine of a few exercises she liked to hang on to.  Then after her prayers she laid on the floor with her scriptures and magnifying glass to read.  She liked some independence.

I continued with tidying up the kitchen as usual and answering the phone.  It was Kris Rodgers--had I seen their dog?  After commiserating with Kris I walked to Jill's room to see how she was coming along and noticed Chris on the floor, her head on her scriptures, very still.  She had slipped away.

Dear little Jill only four-years old did as I asked and called David at the Institute.  I lifted Chris on to her bed and then, just not willing to do nothing, tried to resuscitate her.  At some point I called 911,  again needing to do something until David came.  She was gone.

David picked up each of you at school, you know about that better than I do.  

The way we were five months before.   

My birthday present family photo I had saved for all year.    

A difficult day for Chris, but she did her best and cooperated 

when she understood how much I wanted to have our photo.  

Its a treasure.

Thirty years and today its harder than most years.  

At times I sense David's influence and even nearness, but today,
this 30th anniversary of Chris' passing, I can hardly take it in.

I wonder how it is for each of you.  

I wonder how it was for you thirty years ago.  

We can't linger very long at this spot.

Life has moved on to wonderful times and great memories.  

And so it continues to move on.

We are here and they are there.

It was only with David's illness that mourning was replaced 

and then they were together.

Your wonderful lives and sweet personal opportunities along the way 

fill in their absence, 

until we all meet again.

It is your lives and the wonder of the next generation and 

 the reunions and gatherings from time to time 

that makes up for their absence.

So many, many good things happening these days in spite of 

our separation promised to be brief.

And so we'll have a good day and try to make a difference for good.  

Life is good with you.  You each make a difference.

Love,

Mom